Today is a rather odd day. It is supposed to be a work day, somehow, though, the topic that seemed to dominate during the day for me is: Parenting.

In my usual morning round of media monitoring work (yes I have to read as much news as possible in the shortest possible time in the morning when I get into work!), I came across this article on the WSJ: “Why Chinese Mothers Are Superior“. I am sure quite a number of you have already read this off the links that some of your friends (including myself) have posted on their Facebook walls. It is indeed a very interesting read and sort of reminded me of a post that I wrote some time back, and definitely the comment that W, my friend told me her mother made years ago over the parenting methods. It set me thinking about the longest debate ever about whose parenting style is the best.

I was also reminded that I had not talked about this topic in this space for quite some time. I suppose it is because I have started working full time and do not spend my all of  my days with my little monsters, hence I do not have much ‘theories’ to expound on. Don’t get me wrong. I don’t believe that just because I have opted to transform from a full-fledged stay-at-home mother to a full-fledged full-time-working-mother that I have become less of a parent. Parenting responsibilities do not end until the day you die, in case you still do not already know. On and off we may take breaks but that does not mean you can remove that identity from your very being, when you became a parent. Lament all you want (I do that a lot by the way! ) but it won’t change the fact that you are someone’s father or mother.

That was the insight I got from a very short conversation with my new colleague at the pantry this afternoon. (I shall write about this, not my colleague, but a bit more about my insights on work and the corporate world another day.)

And about parenting methods, really, I have sort of concluded that there is no hard and fast rule about it (I sound like I am done with it! Well, far from it. Rather this is just what I think for this very moment.). To me, it really is about what works for yourself. Which parent would not wish for his/her child to be successful, to be happy? But I think every parent probably has a different yardstick to what happiness and success in life means. Once you are aware of what that is for you, then it becomes clear and easy how you would want to navigate around this whole parenting business. Isn’t it? Sounds simple? This is just the macro view, the broad-based idea. For the nitty-gritty, work it out yourselves (Ha! I am not offering any solutions…..because I am looking for them myself). Be creative and work it out along the way.

However, I must also say that, after the read this morning, it became clearer to me (clearer because I already understood this idea) that our parenting styles is in some way dictated by our own experience being parented. Yes, how we are raised have an immense impact on how we raise our own offsprings. Our parents’ ideals shape how we think and view the world, which in turn shapes the way we behave as parents. Maybe some of your may disagree and say that you think you are doing things totally different (e.g. not pressuring your kids to excel in academic studies, sparing the rod, etc etc..). I would say the only reason that you are doing it differently is because you did not have a positive experience with your parents. No one is perfect, neither are our parents. The beauty of our generation is education and the ready availability of information. I would like to use that to my advantage, to take the good from our heritage and marry it with the good of new knowledge and find that middle ground.

The “Chinese” parenting style has its merits. Look at so many of us. We would not be where we are today if not for that.

The Westerners’ way is also beautiful in its own way. Otherwise, there would not be successful people in the West either, right?

Whatever the parenting style, the parent must feel comfortable about it, and he/she must be clear about what he/she is doing. Ultimately, it has to be drawn from the love from within for one’s child.

*NOTE: My posting of the WSJ article does not point to my advocating any particular parenting style. I am all for the middle ground.

And here are some of my snaps, my take on parenting.

[Show as slideshow]